Twenty years ago (yeah, that's a long time) our family was enduring a major transition. Scott had taken a job in another city so we were spending 5 days a week apart. This was when the kids were in K, 1st & 3rd grades. (NOTE: Scott lost his job in TX so we sold almost everything & moved back to IA to start over, no jobs, virtually homeless.)
Feeling overwhelmed with the pressure of being apart from Scott, relying on the generosity of our families (I'm very independent), and coping with financial strains... I was at the breaking point. The worst part: Scott & I had to compromise our parenting ideals during this time simply to survive. That almost killed me.
Speaking of which... happening on this day, July 9th... this is when my life was threatened. Not a flippant threat from someone yelling out the car window, but someone close to me and the kids. She physically assaulted me in front of the kids (where I could have pressed charges). Followed with the words "I will put you 6 foot under next time I see you". She made sure I knew her intentions by sharing this with family members. She was obviously REALLY MAD at me.
Let's back up a second... there's 2 sides to every story. I fully admit my attitude towards this person had taken a turn that afternoon when she accused me of taking advantage of the family members helping us. Remember how I was at a breaking point? Well, I let my words flow... and when I say my "attitude turned" I mean sarcasm. Thick, mean, ugly sarcasm. The kind that would make someone REALLY MAD.
To make a really long story shorter...
I suffered PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from this event. I literally feared for my life. I feared going out in public & spent several nights cowering with an iron pipe in our rental house (remember Scott was gone 5 days a week). I went to two therapists. It took almost 10 years to move on. But I did. I can see this person now and be okay. I took responsibility for my behavior and apologized with every truth from my being.
FLASH FORWARD TWENTY YEARS to today.
This morning I was reading from the book called "The Power of a Positive Woman" and listed inside is scripture Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well".
Today's date brings up fear and feelings of helplessness. The woman who hated me (maybe she secretly still does? idk) caused me to look away from my worth. NOW I know that the devil was using her to distract me from my path to righteousness. I know God made me wonderfully and would not harm me. I want you to have the same strength and power! I'm here to tell you that with the help of God, working through people who love me, I moved on. So can you.
Quick moral of this story... PLEASE CHECK YOUR MOUTH before saying sarcastic words. Heated discussions and accusations can -and will- escalate to years of regret, fear, and animosity. Just keep your mouth quiet and let the evil words of your enemy bounce off your armor of righteousness. I wish I had.
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