When it rains it pours... Scott's health... again....

Recently Scott has been feeling VERY poor. Like walking Zombie poor. I'm not quite sure what to think about it. He's been gradually getting more & more tired... exhausted is a better way to describe it. 

Let me back up about a month. 

Scott finally got tired of taking up to 20 minutes (on a good day) to pee. With his father's history of prostate cancer, he decided to get it checked out. Low & behold his PSA numbers had tripled in the course of 1 year and a physical exam showed the normally walnut-sized prostate to be the size of his fist! 

10 days later & lots of hoops to jump through, he had an MRI and x-ray. Last week the Urologist told him they're going to wait another 6 months to check his numbers again because there wasn't any sign of a tumor. SIX more months of agonizing urination? Okay, whatever... He has severe burning & gut-cramping whenever he pees, so he went back to the PCP to figure out what's wrong, no answers. Mind you, this appointment is done by teleconference because you have to be dying to get into the office nowadays. Totally not what we're hoping for. 

Also last week Scott proceeded to get a sliver of wood AND metal embedded in his eye, just close enough to the cornea that 2 Opthamologist appointments were necessary (a 3rd one next week). The slivers were removed but now there's all sorts of irritation. He looks like he has pink eye (but not). Go figure. lol

At the PCP teleconference appointment I just mentioned, Scott also got a referral to a 1) Dermatologist 2) Cardiologist, and 3) Hearing center

Dermatologist) At Scott's last "check-up" he shared that his sister is undergoing treatment for stage 3 melanoma cancer so she looked at a few spots on Scott's back. YEP - some suspicious looking buggers need investigated & removed. 

Cardiologist) Several weeks ago Scott & his PCP doctor decided to monitor his blood pressure & heart rate because he seemed to be having issues with the meds she prescribed for him. YEP - the irregularities are concerning because his resting heart rate is ALWAYS high. When he wakes up it's 100 bpm. That's too much. Luckily the blood pressure seems to be under control for now. 

Hearing Center) This guy makes me repeat every freaking thing I say, so he confessed there's a constant hissing in his ears. So I guess that might mean a hearing aide? Idk

Finally he went to his monthly Pain Doctor appointment and they proceeded to tell him the Prostate issue needs a second opinion. They HIGHLY encouraged him to seek a biopsy, which I'm so glad they did. I'm sure he'll have to go to a 2nd Urologist or go back to the first one and beg for them to do it. Why they didn't in the first place is beyond me. Again... poor Scott. 

And let me not forget he has sinus drainage that has his throat incredibly sore. Naturally the running nose and fatigue are signs of coronavirus so I haven't mentioned that. That's the LAST thing he needs. If he comes home with a fever tonight I might have to quarantine myself to the upstairs. I don't know how much more I can take! 

Another goodie that SERIOUSLY needs revisited. Often.

I thought about increasing my water intake.... This is a great read if you're thinking about it too... HA

Cleaning house

 I was cleaning out old file cabinets today... REALLY old files. 

What? No hot water?

Welcome to the family... this lovely new hot water heater was installed on Tuesday. After a load of whites (with bleach) and a full dishwasher ran on Monday with cold water. Ugh.
The fellas who installed it were at our house with the new unit the next morning when we called Monday afternoon!  Thank goodness for strong guys who have a knack for installation!
(This is in our attic where it was easily 115 degrees by afternoon)
And the best part... Scott didn't have to lift a finger!

Scott's idea of working from home

This is the door to the laundry room, followed by the door to the garage.  Since it's a bagillion degrees outside & Scott feels the urgent need TODAY to work on a custom job for December 31st, he's improvised by keeping the garage door closed but pointing multiple fans from the house to the garage. 

Well, I guess it keeps him busy. 

This husband of mine....

God help my electric bill.

Anniversary NOT celebrated

Today is the anniversary of an event that took me into a REALLY dark valley in my life. I'm okay to share this with ya'll because I came out of it learning some good things. 

Twenty years ago (yeah, that's a long time) our family was enduring a major transition. Scott had taken a job in another city so we were spending 5 days a week apart. This was when the kids were in K, 1st & 3rd grades. (NOTE: Scott lost his job in TX so we sold almost everything & moved back to IA to start over, no jobs, virtually homeless.)

Feeling overwhelmed with the pressure of being apart from Scott, relying on the generosity of our families (I'm very independent), and coping with financial strains... I was at the breaking point. The worst part: Scott & I had to compromise our parenting ideals during this time simply to survive. That almost killed me. 

Speaking of which... happening on this day, July 9th... this is when my life was threatened. Not a flippant threat from someone yelling out the car window, but someone close to me and the kids. She physically assaulted me in front of the kids (where I could have pressed charges). Followed with the words "I will put you 6 foot under next time I see you". She made sure I knew her intentions by sharing this with family members. She was obviously REALLY MAD at me. 

Let's back up a second... there's 2 sides to every story. I fully admit my attitude towards this person had taken a turn that afternoon when she accused me of taking advantage of the family members helping us. Remember how I was at a breaking point? Well, I let my words flow... and when I say my "attitude turned" I mean sarcasm. Thick, mean, ugly sarcasm. The kind that would make someone REALLY MAD. 

To make a really long story shorter... 
I suffered PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from this event. I literally feared for my life. I feared going out in public & spent several nights cowering with an iron pipe in our rental house (remember Scott was gone 5 days a week). I went to two therapists. It took almost 10 years to move on. But I did. I can see this person now and be okay. I took responsibility for my behavior and apologized with every truth from my being. 

FLASH FORWARD TWENTY YEARS to today. 
This morning I was reading from the book called "The Power of a Positive Woman" and listed inside is scripture Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well". 
Today's date brings up fear and feelings of helplessness. The woman who hated me (maybe she secretly still does? idk) caused me to look away from my worth. NOW I know that the devil was using her to distract me from my path to righteousness. I know God made me wonderfully and would not harm me. I want you to have the same strength and power! I'm here to tell you that with the help of God, working through people who love me, I moved on. So can you. 

Quick moral of this story... PLEASE CHECK YOUR MOUTH before saying sarcastic words. Heated discussions and accusations can -and will- escalate to years of regret, fear, and animosity. Just keep your mouth quiet and let the evil words of your enemy bounce off your armor of righteousness. I wish I had. 

Where, oh where have you been? Where have I BEEN?
So much life, so many changes. FIVE years since my last post. Holy Cow.
I'm not going to try to fill-in-the-blanks... just starting fresh today. You'll have to use context to catch up. Wish me luck trying to figure out how to get this active on my phone. You have no idea the hoops I jumped through just to sign-on today! HA.
I missed ya'll.